Difficulty: Intermediate | Prerequisites: None.
Who we like and love is shaped by proximity (physical closeness and mere exposure), attractiveness (matching and the halo effect), similarity and reward associations. Love itself comes in forms: passionate (intense, early) and companionate (deep, enduring). Sternberg's triangle breaks love into passion, intimacy and commitment, and attachment styles (secure, avoidant, anxious) shape how relationships function.
Functional distance
How likely two people are to come into contact with each other. What matters is not absolute physical distance but how often paths cross. Two people in adjacent buildings may rarely meet if their routines never overlap.
Mere exposure effect
The tendency to like novel stimuli more after repeated exposures. In simple terms, the more you see something (or someone), the more you tend to like it.
Matching hypothesis
People choose partners who are a "good match" for them, not only in attractiveness but across physical and psychological dimensions.
Reward theory of attraction
We like people whose behaviour is rewarding to us, or whom we associate with rewarding events. Proximity, attractiveness and similarity can all be understood through reward associations.
Two-factor theory of emotion
Emotion = physiological arousal multiplied by its cognitive label. Arousal from any source can intensify feelings (including romantic attraction), provided there is freedom to attribute the arousal to a romantic stimulus.
Passionate love
A state of intense longing for union with another person; the experience of being "in love." Typically fades with time.
Companionate love
The affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined. Emerges after passionate love fades and is more important for long-term relationship survival.
Secure attachment
Rooted in trust and marked by intimacy. Positive view of self and positive view of others.
Avoidant attachment
Marked by discomfort with or resistance to closeness. Positive view of self and negative view of others.
Anxious attachment
Marked by anxiety or ambivalence. Negative view of self and positive view of others. Tends toward insecurity, reassurance-seeking and difficulty trusting a partner's words.
Functional distance
What predicts friendship and attraction is not raw physical distance but functional distance: how likely two people's daily routines bring them into contact. A person living across an alley in another building may be functionally distant despite being physically close.
Anticipation of interaction
If you know you will interact with someone, you tend to evaluate them more positively.
Study: participants told they would be paired with one of two people to discuss a sensitive topic. They read ambiguous information about both. Results: the person participants expected to be paired with was rated higher on liking in almost twice as many cases.
Mere exposure effect
Repeated exposure to a stimulus increases liking, even without conscious recognition of increased familiarity.
Study: four female confederates attended 0, 5, 10 or 15 sessions of a personality psychology class. At semester's end, confederates who attended more classes were rated higher in attractiveness and perceived similarity, but not in familiarity. Students liked them more without realising they had seen them more often.
Matching hypothesis
People select partners who are a good match for them across physical and psychological dimensions.
Study: participants were told they were in a dating study. Session 1: rated for attractiveness by independent raters. Session 2: viewed six photos (high, medium, low attractiveness) and chose who they would want to date. Half believed they would actually get the date; half believed the chosen person would have a say.
Results: more attractive participants selected more attractive partners. The matching effect disappeared when participants believed the partner would have a say in the decision (no risk of rejection removed the need to match).
Similarity predicts liking and attraction.
Study: researchers analysed roughly 240,000 messages from 30,000 to 50,000 users of an online dating site. Coded profile characteristics and compared contact rates. People were 1.1 to 1.6 times more likely to contact and reciprocate contact with someone similar to them.
We like people whose behaviour is rewarding or whom we associate with rewarding events. This framework ties together the major predictors of attraction:
Proximity: it costs less time and effort to be with someone nearby.
Attractiveness: physical appeal is rewarding in itself and is associated with other positive traits.
Similarity: similar others validate our preferences and increase the likelihood of doing rewarding things together.
Love has three components:
Passion: drives that lead to romance, physical attraction and sexual consummation.
Intimacy: feelings of closeness, connectedness and bondedness.
Commitment: the decision to maintain one's love for another.
Different combinations produce different types: intimacy alone is liking; passion alone is infatuation; intimacy plus passion is romantic love; intimacy plus commitment is companionate love; all three together is consummate love.
Emotion equals arousal multiplied by its label. Being aroused from any source can intensify passionate feelings, provided the person attributes the arousal to a romantic stimulus.
Dutton and Aron bridge study
An attractive female confederate approached men on either a scary suspension bridge (aroused condition) or a regular bridge (non-aroused condition). She administered a test and gave her phone number.
Results: men on the scary bridge showed more sexual associations in their test responses and were more likely to call the confederate for a date. The physiological arousal from the bridge was misattributed to romantic attraction.
Passionate love: intense longing for union; the "in love" feeling. Tends to fade.
Companionate love: deep affection for those with whom our lives are intertwined. Develops after passionate love fades.
Study: people who married for love reported diminishing feelings of love after five years. People in arranged marriages reported increasing love after five years. Companionate love, which develops over time regardless of initial passion, is more important for long-term relationship survival.
Secure: rooted in trust, marked by intimacy. Positive view of both self and others.
Avoidant: discomfort with closeness. Positive view of self, negative view of others.
Anxious: marked by anxiety and ambivalence. Negative view of self, positive view of others. These individuals seek more reassurance and may have trouble trusting their partner.
Students often think mere exposure requires conscious awareness. It does not. In the classroom study, students rated confederates higher in attractiveness and similarity without rating them higher in familiarity.
Students often think the matching hypothesis means people always choose partners of equal attractiveness. The effect depends on perceived risk of rejection: when participants believed the partner had a say, matching disappeared.
Students often confuse passionate and companionate love as stages where one replaces the other completely. Companionate love develops as passionate love fades, but both can coexist.
⚠️ Know the three mechanisms through which proximity increases liking (functional distance, anticipation of interaction, mere exposure).
⚠️ Be prepared to describe the Dutton and Aron bridge study and explain how it supports the two-factor theory of emotion.
⚠️ Be able to describe the matching hypothesis study and explain when matching does and does not occur.
⚠️ Know Sternberg's three components of love and the types they produce.
⚠️ Be able to define and distinguish the three attachment styles.
Fill in the blank: The mere exposure effect is the tendency to like stimuli more after _____ exposures. (repeated)
True or False: In the Dutton and Aron study, men on the stable bridge were more likely to call the confederate. (False. Men on the scary suspension bridge were more likely to call.)
Fill in the blank: Sternberg's three components of love are passion, intimacy and _____. (commitment)
True or False: Anxious attachment is characterised by a positive view of self and a negative view of others. (False. That describes avoidant attachment. Anxious attachment is a negative view of self and a positive view of others.)
Q: Explain how the mere exposure effect accounts for the relationship between proximity and liking. Describe one study.
A: The mere exposure effect is the tendency to like novel stimuli more after repeated exposures. Proximity increases the frequency of exposure. In one study, four female confederates attended 0, 5, 10 or 15 sessions of students' classes. At semester's end, confederates who attended more classes were rated higher in attractiveness and perceived similarity, but not in familiarity. The mere repeated presence, without conscious awareness of increased exposure, was enough to increase liking.
Q: Describe the two-factor theory of emotion and explain how the Dutton and Aron bridge study supports it.
A: The two-factor theory holds that emotion equals physiological arousal multiplied by a cognitive label. Arousal from any source can intensify an emotional experience if the person attributes the arousal to the relevant stimulus. On a scary suspension bridge (high arousal), men showed more sexual associations in a test and were more likely to call an attractive confederate for a date, compared to men on a stable bridge. The fear-based arousal from the bridge was misattributed to romantic attraction toward the confederate.
Q: Compare passionate and companionate love. What evidence shows companionate love matters more for long-term relationships?
A: Passionate love is an intense longing for union, the experience of being "in love," which tends to fade over time. Companionate love is the deep affection felt for someone with whom one's life is intertwined, and it develops as passionate love fades. Research on love marriages versus arranged marriages found that love-married couples reported diminishing feelings of love after five years, while arranged-marriage couples reported increasing love over the same period, suggesting that companionate love, which develops through shared life regardless of initial passion, sustains relationships.
The mere exposure effect connects to persuasion (repeated exposure to a message increases its persuasiveness). The reward theory of attraction ties into the broader reinforcement principles seen in social learning theory (aggression notes). Attachment styles connect to interpersonal trust, which is relevant to cooperation in social dilemmas (conflict resolution notes).
Liking, attraction, proximity, functional distance, anticipation of interaction, mere exposure effect, Zajonc, attractiveness, matching hypothesis, similarity, reward theory of attraction, Sternberg, triangular theory of love, passion, intimacy, commitment, two-factor theory of emotion, Dutton and Aron, bridge study, misattribution of arousal, passionate love, companionate love, attachment styles, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, NYU social psychology