Course: Social Psychology, NYU | Source: Final Exam Word List Difficulty: Introductory to Intermediate | Prerequisites: Basic attitudes and cognition; familiarity with persuasion material is helpful
Tags: attraction, proximity, mere exposure, anticipatory liking, physical attractiveness, matching hypothesis, similarity, equity theory, reward theory, Sternberg, triangular theory of love, passionate love, companionate love, intimacy, attachment styles, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, self-disclosure, disclosure reciprocity
This unit asks a deceptively simple question: why do people like, love, and stay with each other? The answers draw on proximity, familiarity, physical appearance, similarity, equity, and deep psychological needs for attachment and disclosure. The material moves from initial attraction (what draws people together) through to intimacy (what keeps them together). It connects back to persuasion (attractiveness as a peripheral cue) and forward to altruism (empathy and helping in close relationships).
We like people who are near us, familiar to us, similar to us, and physically attractive. Long-term relationships depend on equity, mutual self-disclosure, and attachment security. Sternberg's model breaks love into passion, intimacy, and commitment, with different combinations producing different relationship types.
Proximity (propinquity)
Physical nearness is one of the strongest predictors of friendship and attraction. People are most likely to befriend or become attracted to those they encounter frequently in daily life.
Mere exposure effect
Repeated exposure to a stimulus increases liking for it, even without any interaction. The more often you see someone, the more favourably you tend to rate them.
Think of it as: familiarity breeds fondness, not contempt.
Anticipatory liking
When we expect to like someone (e.g., before a blind date we have been told will go well), we behave more warmly toward them, which in turn makes the interaction genuinely more positive. Expectations create self-fulfilling prophecies in social encounters.
Physical-attractiveness stereotype
The widespread assumption that physically attractive people also possess other desirable traits: intelligence, social skill, warmth, competence. This is a specific application of the halo effect.
In simple terms, "what is beautiful is good."
Matching hypothesis (matching phenomenon)
People tend to pair with romantic partners who are similar to themselves in physical attractiveness. While everyone may prefer highly attractive partners, actual couples tend to be roughly matched.
Similarity and liking
People are more attracted to those who share their attitudes, values, interests, and backgrounds. Similarity validates one's own views and reduces friction.
Equity theory
Relationships are most satisfying when the ratio of each partner's contributions and benefits is roughly equal. When one partner feels over-benefited or under-benefited, distress results.
Think of it as: fairness, not equality of inputs, keeps relationships stable.
Reward theory of attraction
We like people whose behaviour is rewarding to us, and we like being around people we associate with good feelings. This theory reduces attraction to a basic conditioning principle: we are drawn to stimuli paired with positive outcomes.
Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love
Love has three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Different combinations produce different types of love (infatuation = passion alone; companionate love = intimacy + commitment; consummate love = all three).
Passionate love
An intense state of absorption in another person, marked by arousal, longing, and emotional highs and lows. Typically strongest early in a relationship and tends to fade over time.
Two-factor theory of emotion (Schachter and Singer)
Emotion requires two ingredients: physiological arousal and a cognitive label for that arousal. Applied to love, any source of arousal (fear, exercise, novelty) can be misattributed as romantic attraction if a plausible romantic target is present.
Think of it as: your racing heart on a scary bridge can feel like love if someone attractive is standing next to you.
Companionate love
The deep affection, trust, and caring felt for those with whom our lives are intertwined. Less intense than passionate love but more stable and enduring.
Secure attachment
An attachment style characterised by comfort with closeness and interdependence, trust that the partner will be available, and low anxiety about the relationship.
Avoidant attachment
An attachment style marked by discomfort with closeness, a preference for emotional distance, and a tendency to suppress attachment needs.
Anxious attachment
An attachment style characterised by a strong desire for closeness coupled with intense worry about being abandoned or insufficiently loved.
In simple terms, secure people are comfortable with love; avoidant people keep love at arm's length; anxious people cling to love and fear losing it.
Self-disclosure
Revealing personal information to another person. Gradual, reciprocal self-disclosure deepens intimacy and trust.
Disclosure reciprocity
The tendency for one person's self-disclosure to prompt a matching level of disclosure from the other. Intimacy builds when both partners progressively share more.
Proximity is the single strongest predictor of who becomes friends or partners. Dormitory studies (Festinger) showed that people are most likely to befriend neighbours on the same floor, not those on different floors.
The mere exposure effect explains part of why proximity matters: repeated encounters increase familiarity, and familiarity increases liking. This works even for faces seen in passing.
Anticipatory liking adds a motivational layer: when we expect to interact with someone, we warm to them in advance. Expectations shape behaviour, which shapes the other person's response.
The physical-attractiveness stereotype ("what is beautiful is good") is cross-culturally robust, though the specific traits attributed to attractive people vary somewhat across cultures.
Attractive people receive more job offers, lighter court sentences, and higher ratings of competence, all else being equal.
The matching hypothesis tempers idealism: while people report preferring highly attractive partners, actual couples tend to be matched in attractiveness. This is partly because people calibrate their standards to maximise the likelihood of reciprocation.
Similarity in attitudes, values, and background predicts attraction more reliably than complementarity (opposites attracting). The "opposites attract" idea has very limited empirical support.
Equity theory predicts relationship satisfaction. Both over-benefited and under-benefited partners report distress, though under-benefited partners report more. Equitable relationships last longer.
The reward theory is the broadest framework: we are attracted to people and situations that provide us with rewards (positive feelings, resources, validation).
Real-world application: dating platforms rely on matching algorithms that use similarity in interests, demographics, and values, which is exactly what the research predicts will produce liking.
Passionate love is the "in love" feeling: intense, arousing, often obsessive. Fuelled by novelty and uncertainty. Peaks early and declines over months to years.
The two-factor theory of emotion explains misattribution of arousal: in the famous "bridge study" (Dutton & Aron), men on a swaying suspension bridge rated a female interviewer as more attractive than men on a stable bridge. The arousal from fear was mislabelled as romantic attraction.
Companionate love is the deep affection that remains after passion fades. Built on intimacy and commitment. Characterises long-term partnerships, close friendships, and family bonds.
Consummate love (all three components) is considered the fullest form but is difficult to sustain because maintaining high levels of passion, intimacy, and commitment simultaneously requires ongoing effort.
Adult attachment styles (secure, avoidant, anxious) echo patterns established in infancy (Bowlby, Ainsworth) and predict relationship quality.
Secure individuals find it relatively easy to get close to others. Their relationships are characterised by trust and satisfaction.
Avoidant individuals value independence and are uncomfortable with deep emotional dependence.
Anxious individuals want extreme closeness and worry constantly that their partner does not care enough.
Self-disclosure is the engine of deepening intimacy. Relationships progress through a cycle of increasingly personal disclosure and reciprocal response.
Disclosure reciprocity means that when one partner shares something personal, the other tends to match that level. Rushing too far ahead of the other person's comfort can backfire.
Real-world application: therapists and counsellors use gradual self-disclosure techniques to build rapport with clients, following the same reciprocity principle that governs everyday relationship-building.
Students often think "opposites attract" is well-supported by research. It is not. Similarity is a far more consistent predictor of attraction.
Students confuse the mere exposure effect with conscious preference. Mere exposure operates largely below awareness; people do not realise they like something more simply because they have seen it before.
Students sometimes treat Sternberg's three components as fixed. In reality, the balance shifts over the life of a relationship: passion tends to decline, intimacy and commitment can grow.
Students assume secure attachment guarantees a good relationship. Attachment style is a tendency, not a destiny. Anxious or avoidant individuals can develop more secure patterns through self-awareness and responsive partners.
⚠️ Be able to explain the mere exposure effect and distinguish it from conscious preference or deliberate interaction.
⚠️ Know the two-factor theory of emotion and the bridge study. Be ready to apply misattribution of arousal to a novel scenario.
⚠️ Sternberg's three components and the love types they produce are highly testable. Know at least three combinations (infatuation, companionate love, consummate love).
⚠️ Understand the three attachment styles well enough to identify them from a description of relationship behaviour.
⚠️ Equity theory questions may present a scenario and ask you to predict which partner is more distressed and why.
True or False: The mere exposure effect requires conscious awareness of the repeated stimulus.
Fill in the blank: According to the matching hypothesis, actual romantic partners tend to be similar in __________ .
True or False: Companionate love is characterised by high passion and low commitment.
Fill in the blank: The two-factor theory of emotion states that emotion requires both physiological __________ and a cognitive __________ for that arousal.
True or False: Anxious attachment is characterised by discomfort with closeness.
Answers: 1. False (it operates below conscious awareness). 2. Physical attractiveness. 3. False (companionate love is high intimacy + high commitment, low passion). 4. Arousal; label. 5. False (that describes avoidant attachment; anxious attachment involves desire for closeness paired with fear of abandonment).
Q: Two strangers are paired for a psychology experiment. Before meeting, each is told the other is friendly and easy to talk to. They have a warm interaction. Which concept explains this outcome?
A: Anticipatory liking. The positive expectation led each person to behave more warmly, which elicited warmth in return, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Q: A couple has been together for twenty years. They report deep trust, shared routines, and strong commitment, but admit that the "spark" from their early years has faded. Using Sternberg's model, what type of love are they experiencing, and which component has declined?
A: Companionate love (intimacy + commitment). The component that has declined is passion.
Q: After a terrifying roller-coaster ride, a person finds their companion unusually attractive. Explain this using a named theory.
A: The two-factor theory of emotion (Schachter and Singer). The physiological arousal from the roller coaster (racing heart, adrenaline) is misattributed as romantic or sexual attraction because the companion provides a plausible romantic label for the arousal.
Q: A researcher finds that in a given dormitory, 65% of close friendships are between people who live on the same floor, even though only 25% of all possible pairings are same-floor. Which two concepts best explain this?
A: Proximity (same-floor residents encounter each other more) and the mere exposure effect (repeated encounters increase liking).
The physical-attractiveness stereotype is a direct application of the halo effect from the Persuasion unit. Equity theory and reciprocity norms reappear in Altruism & Helping (social-exchange theory, tit-for-tat). Attachment styles connect to the Prejudice unit through the need to belong: threats to belonging can increase in-group bias. Self-disclosure and trust are prerequisites for the communication and conciliation strategies discussed in Conflict & Peacemaking.
Attraction, liking, proximity, propinquity, Festinger, mere exposure, Zajonc, familiarity, anticipatory liking, self-fulfilling prophecy, physical attractiveness, beauty bias, what is beautiful is good, matching hypothesis, matching phenomenon, similarity, attitude similarity, complementarity, equity theory, over-benefited, under-benefited, reward theory, classical conditioning, Sternberg, triangular theory of love, passionate love, companionate love, consummate love, infatuation, empty love, fatuous love, romantic love, Schachter, Singer, two-factor theory, misattribution of arousal, Dutton and Aron, bridge study, Bowlby, Ainsworth, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, attachment styles, self-disclosure, reciprocal disclosure, intimacy